Friday, April 30, 2004
haha..today cy badae. Gave him a facial cleanser..bet he's damn bushuang. probably nxt time my bdae he'll give me cat's food??lll_lll haha
can you feel the beat?
these weekend gotta lots of hw lor. But at least got one more holiday on monday..coz the o level den one extra holiday..umm.
Nxt wk: geo test
Lit test
tat's all..not really say a lot. But got lots of hw and for geo i haven even study anything lor. The whole theme i blur blur de. hack lahz.Afternoon doing my dreamwaver..still have 2 more pages to do..haiz.
these few days were like pple around me suffering frm depression except jiayi and meisasa..dotz..sasa is foreva the happy happy kinda..must learn frm her. ahah..suddenly at least feel myself mature le..coz i dunno y just think tat sum pple get so fan2 and so many many probs with this n tat just coz of sum relationship probs..-_-...afterall, life is always hard, afterall no matter wad u do, u'll still die one day..so wad for to worry this n tat? i now oso kan4 kai1 le..even if sumtimes really damn damn sad, tat's not the end. Physiologist once said be4..when a person committing suicide..he actually dun wan to die le, but just too late.perhaps one day when we all grow up, looking back, we'll all see wad kinda of unneccessary things we did. I've learnt not to bother abt too many things, not to voice out any opinion even if i see people's fakeness or i see a fake reflection of myself inside the mirror. Suddenly tot of a theory tat was frm the Into the mirror..the reflection inside the mirror and u ur real self is 2 diff world afterall.hahaz....wan to go and do hw le.
~ people always grow after each and every fall~
3:41 PM
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Todae i 've finally decide smth..i shall not slack anymore. Must buck up le..if not, i can wait till end of yr getting dunno wad lan4 results like last year. Yah.it's the other pple's harworkingness tat motivated me...i cant slack anymore lor. Those slack pple like cy oso so enthu in studies nowadays and wad am i doing here???
can you feel the beat?
yes..i cant let myself go down the drain down down down....i have surelly failed my maths haiz. Buck up le lahz
8:03 PM
Sunday, April 25, 2004
You're a NY girl! You're a fine balance between
can you feel the beat?
studying and fun, though that Chinese
stereotype will never be erased until the end
of human existence. (:b) Truly, you girls are
the Orchard-going type.
Which school in Singapore suits you most?
brought to you by Quizilla
* * * * * *
oh god..i rem i did this quiz last year..result is nanyang..this year still nanyang. So fated to be in nanyang ahz..gotta nth to say-_-lll
i'm sick..sneezing non stop and only me cares abt it..went around the storeroom to find medicine yahz. F my parents..urgh toleration!
sumtimes i realized wad sum of my friends said is right: at certain points no one can help u except urself, just follow the believe tat's always in ur heart. Perhaps it's true, even if the whole world dun luv me, at least i must luv myself. Todae morning watch tv saw a 2 guys band-yuquan-beibei told me abt it long ago. Realize their song very meaningful..got one call"luv urself", it says luv urself not for anyone but for urself....
12:50 PM
Saturday, April 24, 2004
世界上最倒霉的事就是死亡
can you feel the beat?
因为那表示自己输了
再也不能挽回什么了
yesterdae almost wanted to commit suicide..yes..and cy say "i almost lost u". hahaz, must tks to beibei. She told me those three lines above and i started to get back normal. maybe...i've learn. Sum things even if u r sad, just dun give a damn to it and ignore it completely. as long as i live, there's still tml...can use tml to erase away yesterday.Life still goes on..am i must always hold on. I rem widelia spirit and started to question myself "wad's wrong? issit so serious tat u lost hope in everything?" wad's the prob wif me?????
************
todae went wif silvia they all to see NJC de ip open house. haha..weird right? nanyang got ip, wad am i thinking to apply for other sch de ip. Wadever, i just feel like trying. yes...just wan to try if i can get in. NJC not bad, their ip is seemed more open than others. Heard tat NUS is opening a high sch..but it's based on math and science..well i noe my math is darn lan4. haha. Suddenly dunno y feel like trying to get out of nanyang as quick as i can...wad's wrong wif me??? no idea..i used to feel very belonged to hwa chong family. But now, not really le, no idea y. Afterall, nanyang's ip only take 120 students.. and is staying in a chinese school for 6 yrs tat good?
~daze~
afterall, all these things is for what? after all in the end what universe u go is more impt right? i think i'm carpping alot. probably gonna insane. Todae cy called me and i laughed for 10 mins inside the phone...laugh till i cry..and for no reason. I'm weird sumtimes i laugh is not for happiness but for depression
9:41 PM
Friday, April 23, 2004
feel damn damn depress today. Sad ahz. suddenly feel myself so useless and so iditoic afterall. Stupid until can flunk my math..flunk my everything. Todae math test..i predict i'll get 20/50. Yeah..great. so damn damn great This shall b the first time i fail my math ah. I cant stand it anymore. Last time PSLE is oso my math hai4 me de...i flunk my paper den whole aggregate went down. I can never forget tat lor. sumore my parents all IT field de pple. They damn concern abt math and physics..others they dun even wanna care. Last math test i'ver already forged my mum's sign..this time how?? i cant hide anymore right? i'm gonna to die.Probably another world war 3 will start in my house..this is damn serious lor..i'm not toking abt jokes lor. they can never ti3 liang4 me de lor. Last time my mum saw my bio test..28/40..yah..and she scold me till siao...ended wif one sentence"I dun care wad thing it is..i see the marks onli..." wad the hell..i really feel like slapping her. Provided if i can do tat. Last night oso...wan to ask her math qns..den she went on to nag abt my table messy and dunno wad. I was like, Hello??? it's alreay 11pm..so she expect me to clean my table issit??? she got no sense to noe tat i got tests isst??in the end i damn angry, so called silvia for help. Found myself veri patheic, i cant stand all these nonsense anymore. They cant even contribute anything to my studies..only noe how to scold and nag. Well, i'll ren3 but till one day if i cant ren3 den i'll move out of the house.
can you feel the beat?
i noe all these seem so wuliao and crappy. No body’s gonna understand wad I am going through n wad I m tolerating.
I feel the whole world going against me.. dunno wad to do. Sum pple around me oso very fake..in terms of lots of things..studies, character etc etc etc ..n I feel myself oso getting faker and faker. Lost too deep inside my pride..till there’s no crumbs left behind. No way to get back no way to see my reflection anymore. Haha..this phrase frm scarlet ibis..shall not tok abt tat terrible lit test anymore. But must thank Helen for giving me notes..
沉默了, 搁浅 了, 挥手了
放弃了, 流泪了, 改变了,
悲伤过, 坚强过,
懦弱过, 憔悴过,
开心过, 痛苦过,
真爱过, 受伤过,
失望过, 痛恨过,
原谅过, 看开过,
内疚过, 惭愧过,
残酷过, 虚伪过,
珍惜过, 拥有过…..
到最后, 还是无法原谅自己的
愚蠢
白痴
笨蛋
4:16 PM
Sunday, April 18, 2004
emm..todae so damn boliao. Morning woke up at 9 over..den slack slack slack. Finally practise my violin leh..mon to fri all never touch it aat all..i feel so guilty T_T..den i got very fustrated over tat technical piece..coz it's 16 notes per bow sumore change string a lot de..but change position only got a bit..so hai2 hao3 lah.lll_lll
can you feel the beat?
haven finish my math pre test paper. Felt so bushuang..math test is coming and yet i forgot everything learnt previously. The whole pre paper i got 1/2 dunno how to do..shit lor..i really forget le. Suddenly find myself so stupid afterall..science so lan4 math so lan4 eng so lan4...aiyo everything not good de. haiz.
morning tok to cy..his concert on wed end at 9 pm smth..tat means i reach home will be 10 pm or 11 pm le..haiz den the next morning still got lit test. Haiz..i shldn't have agreed to go see his concert. Forget it.
last night actually tot abt lots of things on my bed..i slept at 12 am..lll_lll
den beibei's words recalled in my mind" a lot of friends in ur sec sch or pri sch wont last..." tat's true lahz. i really find lots of pple around me so useless to me. Yah. I only wan to treasure the present le..my lao gong and daughters..hahaa..and dagougou and cy. ^_^
~pple's relations are just like the mrt..no matter which station u aboard, u'll still get to the same station after one round~
我向前飞飞过一片时间海
我们也曾在爱情里受伤害
我望着路梦的入口有点窄
我遇见你是最美丽的意外
今天听933听到孙燕姿的遇见..不禁想起很多事..哈哈,这首歌好像很老..其实是因为它装了我许多回忆.
2:03 PM
Saturday, April 17, 2004
todae went to watch debate..with beibei they all. Haiz nanyang lost to st nick...as expected....chinese high oso lost to aglican high . so sad...T_T
can you feel the beat?
realized tat nanyang dun have good team spirit at all...tat's the dying point..tat's y we always lose to st nick and rgs those schs...
after tat went to kap with liubei and Yl..so damn funny lor. the whole place packed with pple..-_-...suddenly so many pple eat macdonal...wuliao
haven done any homework frm fri night till now...dying le. Haiz...wad to do i oso dunno....so damn sickening. So hot recently....the earth gonna burst soon le. If pple still got heart...plz save the earth global warming very li4 hai4 lehz. Environmental crisi happening..i'm toking abt geo now..lameo
3:54 PM
Friday, April 16, 2004
Todae finally got my new blog cha4 bu4 dou1 ready le..haha.
can you feel the beat?
this week actually gotta lots of things happen lor.
wed:dance comp, thur: bio cum geo tests
anyway all pass le..so haha..hack care le. tml got debate comp..i'm gonna to watch. Gotta a feeling tat nanyang gonna lose to st nick..coz coz coz coz i oso dunno y lahz. ahah
dance comp was rather a mess...actually got rather disappointed with my grp. After all i tried all my best in charographing and teaching and dunno wad already.. in the end tat day comp was like smth went wrong lor. Haiz..nvm it's over.Actually a few days never practise dance never teach dance le, feel a bit kong1 xu1. Hahah so weird right.
My bio test, gonna 90 per cent fail. yes it was all rubbish tat i wrote on the paper lor.haiz..T_T..geo oso did badly. suan4 le1..all over le.
Nxt week gonna be damn busy as well
mon: violin
tue:cca
wed: watch cy's esplanade concert
thur:cca cum lit test
fri:math test
ahaha......very occupied...yesh..and i'll breathe...~just breathe~
5:03 PM
Thursday, April 15, 2004
Midnight:
can you feel the beat?
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory
She is smiling alone.
In the lamp light the withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind, begins to moan.
Memory:
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then.
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory, live again.
Every street lamp seems to beat a fatalistic warning.
Someone mutters, the street lamp gutters, and soon it will be morning.
Daylight:
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I mustn't give in
When the dawn comes tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin.
Burnt out ends of smokey days, the stale cold smell of morning
A street lamp dies, another night is over, another day is dawning
Touch me:
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with my memory
Of my days in the sun.
If you touch me you'll understand what happiness is.
Look, a new day, has begun.
~this is a damn nice song to me...so since my prevous blog deleted..must repost again ahz~
7:41 PM
can you feel the beat?
ERM...decide to start a new blog here
coz i accidentally deleted the old one!!!!!!! very siao rite......
so sad so sad......so sad..
o it was sad, o it was sad, it was sad when my blog entries were gone.
~lame i noe~
wadever..i'll be writing here start frm now.
7:13 PM