Monday, May 31, 2004

几片落叶 孤单得很绝对

九月的风 让心很累

我走过分手那天的街尾

纪念我深深爱过的人是谁

爱象指纹印在心里 真的很美

应该忘了你 可是我学不会

别再问我哪一天才能学会

我要的世界你不能给

有些爱情会给时间一些香味

它迟了一点却把我的心灌醉

谁看见我流过了几次眼泪

它滴在心里让我学会

每段故事都有属于它的收尾

它偶而可以提醒我自己 不能退

回忆季节拿走它的颜色

走着走着 你就会忘记我

What Name Should You Have? by Lauren

Sunday, May 30, 2004

today went out the whole day.
went to changi aiport- watch airplanes
........watch moive-the dAY after tml
........then go esplanade to see SINGAPORE RIVER...hahaha

felt really much better...much much better..cy was lyk..erm oso got lots of things troubling him. But i believe we all got it at leat partially cleared liaoz.ahah

才明白有些事只要学会忘记就一切会好,只要忍住伤痛就总有一天会康复。
笨过一次就足夠了，身边的人幷不是都能信任的。
曾经走过的路必留痕迹，有天回头望， 它总会是我们的回億

cs drama production over le..haha it was rather successful..yah, i'm happy for it. really hope that the speech training drama oso goes on well. these few days working on the script. haiz..running out of brain cells le lor. anyway if any 202 grp 1 pple come across my blog..really hope u pple can take this thing seriously. me and eliza will be damn sad if u pplex just dun make it for any trainings...haiz. i shldn't tok abt it le. i noe all these things will happen. I expect pple not to come for tranings. haiz..i will be heart broken if this year our chinese drama get taken out again after all the hard work. well i'm saying rubbish here..i think probably no one will see this lahz.

yesterday was parenting meeting session. yeah..teachers said good things abt me...duh they are all lyk dat de...wad else? haiz. June holiday all packed le..gotta lots of stuffs to do.

Friday, May 28, 2004

What has life taught us?
bitterness?
maybe

we'll all grow
after thunderstorms and deep muddy puddles
maybe
we'll all leave
after our routes decided to be written in different ways
maybe
we once all got hurt
after giving out so much and recieved just pains
maybe
we once all despaired
after you did so much and the world took you for granted
maybe
we once all flattened
after you can't be even understood by your close ones

So, what has life taught us?
no matter what kind of unsmooth roads..we still have to pull through
'coz only in the night then you can see the brightest stars,
only when it's after rain then you can see the rainbow.


today and yesterday..i was almost gonna die..one leg inside my coffin le. Damn tired..cant cope with the busyness. haha and yet today lots of things happened that made me felt so "funny". Afterall i've been taken for granted by my closest pple..my mum is one. Yah she always do tat..today i was damn tired having a headache after cca rehearsal which ended at 7. God..i really wonder wad would pple do i really suddenly just died..tears? tears that last only for a while. Aiyo...wadever lahz.Dun feel lyk writting le..sunday i wan to play the whole day...must give myself freedom

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

我们的生活有太多的纷纷扰扰
也有太多无法解释,无法释怀的无奈

i'm not supposed to be online here..but i dunno y am i here. Seem very free ahz? no idea.
these few days gettin more and more depressed. I told myself a lot of times to care less..to shi4 er2 bu2 jian4.. but can i do it? no. When my past good friend in trouble..i dunno y just seem lyk wan to console him..in the end found myself so boliao and stupid. Coz it's none of my business and i felt bad when i again see that line of distance betw us. I got smth wrong don't i?
another 2 person is on the way to leave me as well..perhaps at diff points in life, our routes will be separated and fated not to be together anymore. The more i treasure, the more i scared to lose. Wad the hell am i saying here? no idea. Bingyu and i decided to dance for talent time again..but sumhow a bit sad tat it's again we 2 only. Haha..nvm, diff people diff perception, and diff pple at diff points will leave each other. No one is my braincell, yet i expect them to noe wad i saying...i'm just being too siao le.

sumtimes i oso wonder y..y am i always depress? do i always used to be lyk this? ...but true enough, many things cant be escaped, sumtimes pple really made me felt lyk erm..i'm nthing at all...perhaps just a cell ahz. Pple are leaving this city..i wonder how would i feel if i leave as well..sonner or later i will leave singapore. haiz..sec 2 gonna over, and all these things gonna be the past so soon. All those so called good friends and those rubbish things will be a memory..sonner or later.

today i damn mad..told eliza abt the idea i was having for english drama..i wan this gal to dance on the stage..u noe..to creat this chim chim mood and atmosphere...ahah. I always felt CS de drama is not up to my expectation. Perhaps i too chim le?? ahah. Actually the chinese script i am writing reflects lots of things in life tat i cant say out in reality. Then back home i was dancing around...believe it? got smth mad le...keep on spinning around when i am supposed to revise lit...shit so shit...lit i gonna do badly. i noe it.

Monday, May 24, 2004

Heart of Crystal


What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla


haiz..today geo flunk..really flunk. If can get 65 i happy le..haiz
life is wad?? torture? experience or wad?? no idea..tat's y i'm here to survive all torturement and happiness..and sadness..

Friday, May 21, 2004

umm..finally got a bit of time to go online le. haha my comp kana virus-_-
first thing to say: those pple who see my blog...plz tagtag!! haha..dun nxt time let me find out u got see bud never tag ahz.

this week physically weak like siao. Eye bags grow till dunno wad le...sumore black black..can be a panda le..haiz. For the last few nights sleeping at 11 or 12 lyk dat..this morning went to class eyes almost cannot open, sharon walk past me say hi i never even see her...eyes getting swollener and swollener..shit lahz
All becoz of tat stupid cca. This week actually whole sch coz exam all cca supspend le..but cs still have 3 times this week and 3 times nxt week!!!!!!!!!!! wan me to die? cum violin..ya..i 4/5 days back home at 7 pm. tat's y everyday sleep so late, not i hard working lor..this is bi1 bu4 de2 yi3. Nxt mon geo exam!!! ah shit shit shit...lots of concepts haven memorize lor..borrowed sec 1 geo tb frm cy but till now never take a look. These days really surviving on coffee. Sickening ahz..tat day went to clinic to see doc but tat stupid clinic 7 pm close le. WAD THE HELL....so lazy...i sick wan to see doc oso cant find any...wad the hell lor.

i really damn looking forward to holidays..on 30 may..i'm totally free le..yeh..
today got to noe all the this semester overall. Not too bad..but i very bushuang wif my math..77 only..let my dad noe i dun need to live le. Really sick of him..last night revising math he scolded me lyk siao.....-_-pressurized. Foreva pressurized..good result oso lyk dat, no good result oso lyk dat.

Life...omg...cruelty

Friday, May 14, 2004

视而不见是给自己最好的止痛药. 我们越走越远, 我只能看到你的背影...

these days are hard to pull through, enduring with my studies and and relationships wif people. i don't noe why..my "used to be" good friends are going further frm me..invisible wall built up so high tat i cant climb over anymore.视而不见..tat's all i can do when i don't understand y they reacted tat way..i'm not referring to 1 person. Actually a lot..i dun understand y issit this way..how did it end lyk this? dennis..yl, and now yi and ..and ...perhaps the more i afraid to lose, the faster they disappear frm distance within my reach.

got to noe my ca marks today..not too bad. But recently really worrying over my math and chemistry..lots of things blur blur. -_-

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Just 2 1/2 more weeks and this semester will end..o so great...
today really damn depress..or i shld say disappointed?? maybe...over a lot of things. Over pig rowe, over over over.....perhaps i am asking for too much frm pple..it's all my fault. i should not hav such high expectation on my friends. Yahz..rem xueying say be4 that friends to her are just playmates, they will all be useless to u one fine day. And me? all along i have been taking friends for very impt people in my life..and wad's back? sho samn fucking shitty bloddy hell...this whole world is a piece of organic waste( which= shit)...today my entry very vulgar i noe...hack cares...sooner or later i will explode..i will. today recess hugged bingz for a long time, almost want to cry le. Sumtimes really wan to tok these things to a person...but dunno hu to find. That day tok wif eliza..just realized afterall she's having a hard time as well.
Everything tat has a begining has an end..so all these things will end and i will end one day as well. ya...one day i wuld leave this bloddy world and probably no one would be sad abt it. Duh, all memories can be forgotten.Including all the ones u once trust so much.

wad fucking shit am i toking abt here..stop..i will. All these stupid things will come to an end. I wan to go seaside..really wan to see the sea..

Saturday, May 08, 2004

today sports day..haha a bit boliao lor.yahz..we did that nanzhong quan2..of coz very lame. We ourselves are laughing lor.ahahah den cy say we do until very not together...like kallang wave like that. No choice..it's like dat de. haha. umm this weekend really damn damn damn heavy workload. Have to revise eveything tml ..today almost whole day gone..later i still have to find ms chua to fill in the njc form for me.

These few days actually rather bushuang. #1, over results..my studies are going down the drain. #2, certain friends around me have been taking me as invisible..yahz obviously things are not the same as be4.. #3, i having been missing my best friends..suddenly find primary school friends are foreva the purest ones.
haiz, i oso dunno what am i toking abt here..perhaps it's i too sensitive..pms ahz? dunno, not sure. haiz..just maybe that i'm still not mature to realize the fact that certain friends are those who should not be taken seriously. Yesterday Tz ask me want to go out or not..actually really wan to go seaside or sumwhere to release stress..but in the end considering all those stupid tests and dunno wad..i decided not to lor. haiz...so wu2 nai4

Monday, May 03, 2004

When I was young
I never needed anyone
And makin' love was just for fun
those days are gone

Livin' alone
I think of all the friends I've known
But when i dial the telephone
Noboday's home

All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live
All by myself anymore

Hard to be sure
Sometimes i feel so insecure
And love so distance and obscure
Remains the cure

All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live
All by myself anymore



Haiz..very touching song indeed..yes. Yesterday went to eat dinner with my Auntie Cherie..6 yrs never see her le. Such a long period, so amazing. I have never see her ever since that year i came to singapore. She was all by herself in US..She and my uncle are used to be qing1 mei2 zhu2 ma3..but now for years they have been separating from each other in different parts of the world. Of coz, tat results in changing of attitude to each other..their realtionship has problem. I noe tat..just can see from her eyes. She's really very good to me...just cant bear to believe that my uncle is not treasuring her. Wad's wrong with all those men?? does tat mean tat when u r too good they take u for granted? or issit true that distance and time can wash away everything?? Even that kinda of luv between them dun work? I once heard from my mum tat my uncle last time used to fight against my grandmum coz she dun let him to be together with cherie...-_-..in the end?? issit becoz that so many years they have been working in diff places and time changes them?

maybe it's true..nth can stand the test of distance and time..everything changes. The earth is moving, so people are changing.

Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with Meng meng's Syndrome
Cause:	cursed Japanese video
Symptoms:	vague fatigue, shivering, pustules, dolphin noises
Cure:	none
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:

wad?? no cure?? lll_lll

Saturday, May 01, 2004

最孤独的时候 不会有谁来陪伴你 最伤心的时候 也没有人来呵护你 只有你自己 经历着一些必经的经历 只有靠自己 才能回答一些生命中的难题 你爱这个世界 甚至爱着它的空气 你爱着你的他（她）也希望他（她）也爱着你 好好爱自己 在失败时给自己打气 常常问自己 什么才是你想要的东西 OH 爱自己 爱自己 这个世界我最了不起 因为我爱你 爱着你 付出一切我都没关系 爱自己 爱自己 为了父母朋友姐妹兄弟 所有我要你学会爱自己 因为这个世界爱最了不起

This is a damn damn meaningful song by yu3 quan2 de. Although not say very famous but sumhow change my point of perception.There r lots of things we should luv..we should live for..and very importantly, must luv ourleves..this song is call "ai4 zi4 ji3"..luv urself..even if the world has walk out, u still hav to luv urself.

i nowadys oso kan4 jai1 le..more depression will just lead to more depression. So i shall stop all this depressions. Afterall life so short..must be happy lahz. ahah everything has a begining has an end