Friday, January 28, 2005

Again...when will this stop?

Well..finally the big day was over. What should i say..it's in deed memorable yup. So i noe that from today onwards, my life would be much different. Today actually had a nice time talking to Ekping..just nice she came my sch de invest..haha=)

Yup..but now there's seriously something making me very sad as well. Sometimes just don't get it if it's my mistake or others' wrong...i'm not that kind that just don't care what the others say...coz it hurts me..i'm serious..not crapping. It's haunting me. I dun ever mind making sacrifices but what hurts is that people just don't seem to be the way they seem to be, just dun give the trust in you..or should i say i lost trust in them?

I said before that i wont ever regret for any decisions i made...but now i'm kinda regretting..i shouldn't have got myself into this kind of suitation...i'm never supposed to like that now. I suddenly got this funny feeling,frankly, of why my life is like this now, why i have to get myself hurt and over hurt again and again. My studies are lagging far far far far behind...is it worth it? i dunno. Haha..it's something like IP , intitally i just didnt have the courage to resist it.
Today actually cried in front of Rachel, i was acting to be happy when something heavy was inside my heart.

I'm seriously tired of all this.

My blog is closed...I dunno when i'll want to write again. Who knows if the text inside my blog will become some pple's tea talk ?!

Bye Bye ppx

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Flunk diao

Well..i flunk my english critical reading test today..as expected...difficult. I'll be happy if i can pass somehow. can't just escape from the reality. I've not been the usual self ever since this term starts..totally lost my confidence. I'm not going to escape anymore...wad has past has past.

Stay positive..yup i'm going to. I will and i will try to balance up my things and stop making people around me feel that i'm so busy until it's unreasonable.

Today recess patrol met some siao gals. and one of them is actually a ex-2/2 person. Haiz...so sad. They were eating in class...so obviously i have to write their names right? they actually flip my jacket to see my name tag to see what i am...and ask me if i'm a sec 3 councillor...dun feel like talking about it. And ya i was having my recess food in my hands which i'm going to eat later ..but i am not eating ..bloody hell. And this siao gal actually said " aiyo...councillor oso take food to our class..." It's obvious that they are bushuang that i'm a sec 3 right and catching the sec 4 s right! so?

And sorry that i ren3 wu2 ke3 ren2...coz starting of the yr till now..i heard quite a lot of this things. My only comment: some pple are really sarcastic..and my answer to them is silence...but i do have limits ok?

Monday, January 24, 2005

Wish Myself goodluck=)

ok..just here to key in a quick entry...it's 9pm smth and i 'm here crapping again..haiz lame me***

There's invest this week..fri! and i think i'm not prepared for the council item..the dance.
Tmr cca..Lilaoshi want to see me and heli's result yah..and we practised nth really..and CNY is coming its way toooo soon.
Wed there's a LA test which i will 99% fail for sure

Ok..finally smth nice. Dad's back=) he bought me some chocoz with wine inside one...muahahah.................i LUV CHOCOZ...I LUV CHOCOZ..and i've been eating lots of them recently............muahahhahaha .......

ok..serious. Stop all this nonsense..^^ tata

Saturday, January 22, 2005

OH HELL

okay..last night i slept at 2am plus and woke up at 7 smth...5 hrs of sleep. And now i'm seeing stars really...=(
today went kap for several meetings..was there from 11am till like 3plus?? haiz...and tonight still got online meeting for ss proj and ss sia....o dear. I suddenly rem y last yr some seniors told me they sleep at 1am everyday. Stupid Ip...wad's the matter lor...does doing so many SIA make us smarter??!!!! urgh...i feel like wanting to spit vulgarities!!!! *angry angry* i think this is a very good topic to discuss with the sch admin for our think tank project man!

What shld i say? i just want to sleep ahz...Lao tian pls grant me some sleep...who can help me fiish my loads of hw? i 'll pay u 50 bucks...I'm going crazy...dun mind my rubbish entry.

Friday, January 21, 2005

If only i could find a reason...

yup..so i'm here to talk abt the past week again. Haha..wad shld i say? Dun need to mention..it was a busy week as well...this 3 day weekend..homework is like mountains manz..haha...i think dun need to say everyone oso noes...

I suddenly felt i've lost the inspiration to write anything. Coz my life has become so boring..besides all those lame things in sch..i dunno wad shld i write abt.



五月天
倔强
我和我最后的倔强握紧双手绝对不放下
一站是不是天堂
就算失望不能绝望
我和我骄傲的倔强
我在风中大声的唱这一次为自己疯狂
就这一次我和我的倔强
就这一次让我大声唱lalalala..
.就算失望不能绝望...lalalalala...
就这一次我和我的倔强

Friday, January 14, 2005

Life is not just what it is

well, finally week 2 ended. tmr still have to go to sch unfortunately, for the breakfast bash thing. Frankly, i would really want a strictly 5-day week. Possible? probably not.

Dun feel like saying anything abt the past wk...anything abt studies and work gave me headache...so i dun wan to mention liao. Just that it's sucking.

I'm trying to survive and trying to stay happy happy. I guess i never left out a single day without smiling...but that smile is still not frm the heart. However, i'm trying hard to stay optimistic..yahz...coz i suddenly rem smth every now and then..1 yr ago got someone kept reminding me of widelia spirit whenever i'm down. So now..i actually have the ability to remind it on my own..haha* i realize i've become lamer and lamer*

Hmm...invest is coming up, and cca is preparing for cny performance as well. So kinda busy...and today i heard a sec 4 say" i want to pia finish all the SIAs within term 1=)" Haha...positive ehz..how come i'm keep lagging on the sias? Keep thinking that term 3 is far away so the due date is oso far away....*ahhhhh okok i shall stop toking abt this nonsense stuffs...finally weekend liao..let me say smth nice*

I'm hoping to go to the seaside...so long never take a look at the sea liao! Ok..i've decided, cny holidays die die oso must go...if not i'll feel bushuang...so long never go out to play liao. *actually not long, it has only been 2 weeks. or i shld say i've got resilience?!*

Shall stop this entry here...dun wan to keep on crapping liao. Last thing i want to say..i'm kinda glad that i did not let my heart choose the wrong way one year ago...i've learnt wad's impt and wad's utter rubbish...wad's worth my life and wad worth not even a single minute.

Friday, January 07, 2005

曾经擦身而过
曾经故意放弃
曾经成心忙碌
曾经刻意躲避

不知道怎么回事，心情很不好。只是突然觉得身边的很多人都消失不见，在眼前的只是一团灰灰茫茫然的东西，摸不着，看不到。

我的生活变了，也不知道到底变了什么。注定该变得东西就一定会转变，就像地球在转，所以人也在变一样。以后会怎么样 我也不知道。。有点开始讨厌自己，讨厌自己对自己的不确定。

不知道从什么时候开始，我不再像从前那么坚强。或许是那股固执消失了吧。我真的在学着适应现在的生活。我曾经相信，只要我们努力，生活就不会亏待我们。真不了解自己的心，现在还相信吗？天复一天的活着，做着同样的事情。

不知道什么时候才能逃出这种循环式的日子

Monday, January 03, 2005

First day back to sch

tis week schedule
tues-Gm 2nd recess, after sch invest rehearsal(which crush with cca)
wed- SWC meeting 2nd recess, cca orientation( which i dunno wad suppose to do yet)
thurs- cca?
Fri-socks launch
mornings- latecomer duty

This whole month seems busy, a lot of projects coming up it seems...both council ones and the SIA... my god..we have to do one sia for each subject. Errrrr................dot dot dot.
I'm kinda seriously thinking tat i'm not prepared wholeheartly to take ip. Never even tot abt how so many sias' gonna kill me. And for ur info...i dun get it y i'm just so unlucky to get a weird form tcher...pple call him "potato head" and today he made us spring clean the clsroom for 1 hr?! And i'm kinda sad that 302 got liwenjuan laoshi...she's quite a nice tcher...i had hoped for her to be my chinese tcher.

For dialogue session, xinying and i took 102. So actually i'm posted to be 102's class councillor..the sec1s seem very cute. Cute as in very innocent...just cant imagine that we were actually also about the same 2 years ago. I actually hoped to take 202 coz it's my mortal's class. Haiz..now kinda miss the times in sec 2...coz dun really feel good in 301 now. Our class is still very quiet...but cant expect much lah of coz, we only been together for 1 day.

Feel busy. And just cant understand why that some pple just cant leave a thought for me--that even if i have any free time left, i want to sleep at home okay?

Hmm...i shall stop writing..stop wasting my time online liaoz. Look forward to a better tmr...and yup, the real game has began.