Monday, May 30, 2005

Inspirations from Amber

i know. I am suppose to be doing my chinese portfoilo and studying my poor chemistry--salt preparation--smth that i've no idea about. But then...i can't bear not to write something about amber. I'm still excited over it. I don't know why. Just out of a sudden, my passion for theatre is all up again. It's theatre--not drama. It's theatre...not just any kind of meaningless drama.


中国话剧《 琥珀 》
http://www.zaobao.com/fk/fk050526_511.html

看 到 刘 烨 真 的 很 兴 奋 。 或 许 我 就 象 妈 妈 说 的 那 样 ， 我 是 个 奇 怪 的 人 --很 迷 恋 一 些 大 多 十 几 岁 孩 子 不 会 迷 恋 的 人 ， 像 陈 道 明 ， 像 陈 坤 ， 象 刘 烨 。 呵 呵 ， 没 办 法 ， 喜 欢 他 们 就 是 喜 欢 。

《 琥珀 》给 我 的 感 觉 很 复 杂 。 说 不 清 ， 它 几 乎 让 我 为 之 震 惊 ， 让 我 对 戏 剧 有 了 新 的 认 识 。 原 来 大 陆 的 舞 台 剧 如 此 叛 逆 。 剧 中 充 满 了 黄 色 笑 话 ， 俗 话 等 等 ， 但 是 也 有 许 多 让 人 欣 赏 的 华 丽 文 字 。 那 种 听 了 让 人 心 痛 的 文 字 。 其 实 看 完 了 我 还 是 不 太 明 白 为 什 么 要 叫 琥 珀 --只 是 小 优 最 后 说 高 辕 美 的 象 个 琥 珀 。 。 呵 呵 有 点 无 法 理 解 。 真 的 发 现 自 己 爱 上 戏 剧 这 个 东 西 了 。 呵 呵 。 因 为 我 发 现 在 舞 台 上 有 时 候 是 那 么 的 自 由 ， 而 你 尽 可 用 任 何 手 法 来 表 达 你 要 说 的 。 哪 怕 是 骂 这 个 社 会 --那 就 骂 吧 。

我 能 记 得 的 些 台 词 ：

“你 可 以 砍 我 的 头 ， 砍 我 的 手 。 。 不 要 砍 我 的 心 ， 因 为 它 是 小 优 的 。”
“因 为 你 ， 我 害 怕 死 去 ”
“最 终 他 回 头 看 了 妻 子 ， 对 她 露 出 久 违 的 笑 容 ， 但 妻 子 却 倒 下 ， 她 死 了 。 ”
“永 远 不 要 回 头 望 ”

这 些 都 是 听 的 让 人 心 痛 的 文 字， 虽 然 夸 张 ， 但 真 的 唯 美 凄 惨 。

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Do something

fri went to RI to watch their drama production. Li Jia was damn nice to let 2 of our people in without buying tickets. There was not enough tickets yah. Rachel and I were like damn excited after the show...we were thinking a lot about asking Li Jia back to Nanyang, to be our cca teacher.I know this is something that shouldn't involve the students, we shldn't care about it. But afterall, our cca is in our hand. I cannot bear to see our cca like this anymore.Just could not leave nanyang next year end without seeing our cca getting onto a better track.

I was talking a lot with Li jia these few days...he was asking why i'm so determined to get him though he never really teach me before. Haha...i also don't know why, but i know he's a not bad teacher...apparently much better than the one we are having now. Rachel was damn interested to collaborate with RI's drama club next year. Haha, that will be a goal we want to work for...just hope so..hope that some day our cca can be renamed and stand as a drama cca alone.

Youth forum is coming its way. I'm kind of tight up...coz really don't feel prepared. Our sub comm dance is in a patheic mess.But our log comm dance rox!! really rock ok..haha evelyn rox lah. Until now still somehow when think abt it..a bit sad that this is not really a batch event. Nvm nxt year maybe still can have smth.
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Mum was extremely angry about my math result. My total average only 66 smth...just one more mark than the cut off point to go HCI. Biang man...and my math c5..haha so patheic! Urgh...can't take a look at my report book. It's so terrible like a pile of dung.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

This entry is all for U

I hate it when you pretend to do so much when actually you didn't. I hate it when u should know how over taxed i am and yet you choose to let me do most of the thing. I hate it when you gave me excuses for just a simple task like printing and made me went asking other people to help US print..and driving me mad. I hate it when i feel so regretful to work with you. Yah...it's you...For your info..yesh, u deprived me of my sleeping time. Oh thank you so much for being so selfish and not spare a thought for others. Next time please just admit that you don't feel like doing anything instead of pretend that you did a lot and pretend to act kind.


I'm going very crazy this week.I don't dare to think anymore further..the future is very very scary. Art fest, Youth day, Youth forum, grad gift, think tank, SIAs, homework, MGS slc, council camp... ...

Monday, May 23, 2005

Terrible CA

i'm recently trying to tell myself that 30% of the whole is not a lot! yeah..as if it's not a lot. Haha..i got an average of 67 for my ca..erm..provided there may be some mistakes to the marks..coz MATH IS DOUBLE WEIGHTAGE..erm i dunno that math is even more impt than the languages.0_0 ..so this means i get even lower than 67 probably. Urgh..and i dunno what's the school's prob..we can only get our report book provided that our parents come. Erm..fine , i shall not take my report book. LIke as if i want to see it.

Sat i was damn sick in the morning...kept on sneezing till like i used up almost 1 box of tissue. Then went to kap for meetings in the noon..and i almost fell asleep while having meeting...almost nth went inside my head. Then evening went for SWC dinner...haha it was fun. We went to taka..so some many things to eat lor..=) =) =) yeah man..the food is damn nice..everything is nice lah. I luv eating. That's one of my best "talent"..coz besides that i dunno anything it seems.

Sun went to practise dance at evelyn's hse. Her parents very nice siaz..order pizza for our lunch..haha. log comm dance roxx=) but my sub comm dance havent even come out yet i suppose? 0_0 ahh youth forum is coming it's way...urgh urgh. Faciliator Assessment somemore..havent do anything about it. Suck..time is like slipping through my fingers.

This week is gonna be an ever busy week..i'm kinda of scared to go back to normal lessons..coz sabbaticals too slack le..now cant adjust. Oh i'm going to qinghua for china attachment..muahah that's smth to be happy abt.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

SLacking

this week is sabbaticals..so very very slack lah. And yah..it's damn boring as well. Haha can't help it. Actually got lots of hw to complete..but i've touched none so far nehz. And yah our Sias are piling up..and yet they don't get into action..so damn damn stagnant untill i dunno what to say liao. I dun feel like saying anything yah. Sometimes somethings really get appreciated by others and since no one wants to take any initiative, i have to take it then. Somehow can foresee how terrible my june holiday will be..urgh

today went to rjc invest with pong. Haha..quite nice. Got to see the seniors like gui jun, da ni, charmaine blah blah. Rjc is really erm..damn big lah. The school tour actually made my leg very pain, i'm never suited for heels. Got to see zhaowei..took back my scores frm him and amazingly even got some chocos frm him..haha. Then me and pong were hesitating to eat or not at the reception, coz other pple like all not eating. And then jiacong came into my sight..quite surprise to see him..dunno where he pop out frm anyway. Hmm so we talk talk a while then we went to eat..and pong was obviously thirsty and i was hungry haha. I somehow came to realize why last time jiacong say life in JC is very fun..rj really seems erm fun yahz. Oh well, too bad i'm in IP...or maybe 2 years later i don't end up in hci and i also dun end up in rj..i dunno 0_0

Oh forgot to mention smth..da ni bought us to see the track..and guess what? i saw LIU YONG FENG there! the ex chinese teacher of nanyang? Yah..dunno what is he doing with the trackers when he's only a chinese teacher. Haha..funny. Then i realize i shld have cut across to RI somehow by dunno wad method to go and take a look at niu laoshi. I forgot her existence in RI..ahhh missed a chance of seeing her..so sad.

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Last night almost didnt sleep. I went to bed rather early..11 smth..but couldn't get into sleep until like 2 or 3 smth. I'm suffering frm shi1 mian2. Ahyahz..stupid. I shouldn't have kept too many things in my heart and make myself unable to sleep. What the rubbish.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Suck

my term 2 is flunked..muahah %%#((*%^**
VERY GOOD. I FAILED MATH AGAIN. i'm soooo "happy" that i get 23/50 for math when other class pple can get like 47/50. My mum was totally disappointed in me that she jsut say" hope some day you can wake up from your sleep". I'm like...erpz. When did i ever sleep? I mean..i think i did put time into studying for it, but just failed --failed! That day got back math test paper, dunno why it seems to be a big blow to me that cause me to break down. I was holding back the tears when pple beside me who pass with flying colours say " It's like damn low lor". Please lah...if you ever get my mark, u'll know how it feels. I know you want to get higher when it's already high enough...but please be a bit more considerate to others please.
And yah, you known wad...helen ma came and gave me a pat on the shoulder, and i actually looked up at the ceiling to prevent tears from dropping out. HAHA foolish right? Of cause it still came down. In the end Beecheey also cried sadly and we went toilet together to cry. It makes me even more sad to see my batchmate cry...esp when i know they are under stress also. URGH ^&*#$&). Thanks to IP, thanks to the school for putting more and more stones onto us and think we are superwomen.--oh well...maybe the rest are okay with it, but i'm not...coz i'm not super enough.

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I feel like hell these few days coz of lots of things...youthday is making me worry. Think tank as well...and not to mention that sec4 grad gift thing has been stagnant for long and i'm going mad soon. $&^*(&($

And to YOU, thank you for making me miss you and think about you uncontrollably all the time when i try to wipe it out..coz it's not supposed to be on my mind at this point of hectic time. It's all your fault...i known i'm being very very unfair. But i'm really not that strong after all to take all these. Feel myself being crushed over and over again. My confidence level has gone to -0.001.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Screwed onto a screw cap--too tight

another week has gone by. Well...i flunk my math and bio and phy totally. I'll be happy if i can pass my math and phy. Feel like knocking myself on a wall. SUCK. Stupid MATH and PHY paper. Phy paper was easy but dunno why i made numberous of killer mistakes which can cause me to fail. And MATH..oh thank to jason to set such a so many question paper. Very good! haha.

I'm being sarcastic.

and that critical reading skills test...i gave ot up during the test itself..just anyhow shade some answers. It was so hard that i cant be bothered. Haha..yeah

Coming to the end of term2. Time reaLLY flies soooo fast. Somehow can foresee my extreme busy june holiday and my very patheic report book. Really need to catch up on some council projects..havent been moving coz of those stupid tests...need to speed up liao.

Kinda find life more and more meaningless. Today met Mr lim. Oh finally he waved and talked to me. Coz for the past few months we've been bypassing each other ...haha. Made me think of sec2 when i saw him. The more time passes without any expression, the more i miss the past though they weren't that fantastic as well. I don't dare to look back anymore. I will really just feel more and more depressed if i keep thinking life now is too hard. The harder is yet to come. Still got 3 more years to struggle. Oh yah..i assume that university won't be that stress...hmm this most probably is not true. In fact, life is always full of obstacles, no period whereby exactly we can slack much. Even my mum now is still stress with her work. Hai yo yo.

Tmr CSM...after that week 8 will be another normal hectic week and then week 9 sabbiticals then after that last week of sch which most probably is the real think tank...hmm

~light a candle instead of cursing the dark~