Friday, January 27, 2006
This is dedicated to you guys.
can you feel the beat?
I'll probably never forget you for my whole life.
有些感觉是永远都不可磨灭的。
一年一次的团圆饭。DAGOUGOU，CONNIE， YUTING。每年到这时，我可能是想起小学最多的时刻，最最感叹生命的时刻。看到我们彼此的改变，看到我们的长大。我真的只有无限的感慨。其实至今小学时我们的身影还是历历在目的。
惨了，说好我们要用文字记录下这个时刻。可是此时我却写不出来了。BEYOND WORDS
YUTING 跟EKPING 在电话里的几句客套但又亲切的话让我顿时很想哭。因为我仿佛看到我们的成长，看到时间在我们身上的痕迹，那些成熟了，长大了，受伤过，大笑过，狂疯过的我们，那些在一起还是肆无忌惮的猛疯的我们。那瞬间的时空穿越的感觉，真是我无法形容的。
只能说，有些事情真的永远无法磨灭的。我们的友谊，相信10年后一样的让人感慨万千。在你们面前，我可以毫不掩饰的说自己的很多心里话。我自己也惊讶自己为什么那么坦然，我想在你们面前，那是一种本能吧。
Da gou gou: don't know if you'll be reading this.Thanks a lot for your words that touched my heart some how. i guess you do understand me..out of this whole world of so many people that don't.You know you'll be special. always.
Connie: You're just like me, hiding a lot things to yourself. But do remember..life itself is already very beautiful, we should appreciate that we're alive. What you give may not be what you get in return, but don't be afraid to give. Luv them anyway, give them anyway. You'll be appreciated. Remember that this bunch of us is going to set up a company when we grow up k?
Yuting: haha.. you're a really nice taiwan girl. Take care and remember that I'm gonna be the CEO of our company k? we'll rock our lives together some day. I will miss you a lot in the future...but we'll save up money to go visit you in taiwan or smth. LOL
Ekping: i don't think you'll read this. But nvm.You are part of us. Always.Part of my beautiful pri sch memory.There are too many things beyond words. I can only say that together, this bunch of people here. We rock.
大狗狗，你说我是个拿得起放不下的人，那有的时候就不该拿起。的确如此。人生不可能什么都想要，不可能永远都不受伤害，不可能给的会等於得到的。人生，有太多的不等式了。
我期待，我们大家重逢的一天。我们在某年某月某日，相信还会最终在一起写我们美丽的人生。
11:28 PM
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
just now was chatting with a friend...was saying stuffs like--how to be happy. lol. I was saying..i smile everyday, a lot in fact. But seldom it's from my heart. It really hard to smile from the heart. In other words, it's really hard to be really really happy.
can you feel the beat?
I don't know what's my big big problem. My emotions kept get swayed here and there coz of some stuffs that i shouldn't be worrying much about. WHAT'S MY BIGG BIGG PROBLEM?? Why i keep having these ironical feeling? i wanted to get myself away frm some stuffs and yet i feel very very very bad when i'm not involved. Ambivalence.Sux. I suddenly kinda miss the days spent in beijing last year.Not because of much but jsut becoz it was a period that i escaped away from reality.
What's the feeling of doing so much that were not treasured by others? Just suddenly feel that i'm actually inferior. There's really little stuffs that i can do.
shunzi's come home seems damn sad. haha... was listening to it quite a lot.
10:37 PM
Sunday, January 22, 2006
今天很不舒服，桌子上还有一大堆功课没做。去死吧，真是让我心烦。
can you feel the beat?
昨天去看MODERN DANCE 的公演。呵呵，很难想象如果是我们的PRODUCTION。。7月15号的话，我可能已经泪流成河了吧。
昨天其实想了很多东西。
何必去压制自己对某些东西的热忱？就算到最后一无所有也无所谓吧。毕竟人生十几岁就只有一次。又有多少东西能重来？我爱舞台，就让自己去爱吧。
永远不要对别人或对自己期望太高了，轻易相信别人是很傻的。你做的所有事情或许不会得到任何人的肯许，也许是完全不被珍惜的。相信自己的付出可以被珍惜是件很傻的事。事实就是如此，所以不要相信那么多了。
wadever it is. Luv them anyway.Coz i realize it's too painful not to luv them, though it may be hurting.
12:35 PM
Thursday, January 19, 2006
不好意思又要写中文了。
can you feel the beat?
今天看到了黄美兰的剧本，一个莫名的巨人的东西。不好做什么评价，只能说不是我喜欢的类型，但正是她的风格---绕来绕去，只为了让整个戏时间长一点吗？抽象得没有让人为之一动的抽象感。不说了。毕竟她是专业
人士，我是个学生。
至於昙花一现，呵呵，像某人说的一样，在我心里可能只有刘烨这样的人才配得上演韦陀。昙花一现，只为韦陀。
那天你说我不该再写这种东西了。但事实上我欣赏这种爱情。或许只有虚幻的情节中，才是我沉浮不定的心的向往。
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沉浮不定的心到底什么时候才能平静？我该好好学习，好好读书，好好考试，好好做每一个作业。
9:48 PM
Saturday, January 14, 2006
went to the citizenship presentation in spore poly today. It was long. very tired to see everyone being called up just to recieve the pink i/c from that GOH. Haha.And zhangyan was there too...though we didnt manage to talk or something. Haha.. now i shall say the most qiao3 thing ever.
can you feel the beat?
Me and mum were at row N..then i was so bored after awhile that i was looking around. Saw this guy who's siting at the last seat in row N...look like zhang peng fei.Yeah. Then in the end when the emcee read his name..yah he is of coz. This person is my pri sch senior. Remember that my pri sch chinese tcher used to bad mouth abt him in fron of me and dagougou.Don't really know him (neither does he really know me). But i've been fately seeing this person around since sec1.Last time me and xuetying were talking about fuhua days on the bus 66...forgot why she mentioned that zhang went from chinese high to rjc..blah blah....then zhang came up the bus in rjc uniform. Haiya. moral or story..the world is small.
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2nd week of school..yet i already feel tired. Why? i don't know. I feel like i'm just surviving. Not living. yeah. Things are affecting my emotions..those things that i could probably just ignore.
才发现我自己不止无法控制自己，更是不了解自己。为何为了等等等等的事情而心里不舒服？？有些事既然不是我责任范围内的我又何必要去在乎？既然明知道自己想要的这些东西不会实现，而对自己将来也许毫无用处，那又何必要为这些东西一再付出？为什么？
低调一点吧。我的确是要低调点。少操心了，因为那不是我该烦的，我没有那个责任。对自己好一点吧
疯狂世界(五月天)
如果说了后悔是不是一切就能倒退
回忆多么美活着多么狼狈
为什么这个世界总要叫人尝伤悲
我不能了解也不想了解
我好想好想飞
逃离这个疯狂世界
那么多苦那么多累
那么多莫名的泪水
我好想好想飞
逃离这个疯狂的世界
如果是你发现了我
也别将我挽回
我其实没有后悔过，任何事都没有，因为可能我还是热爱这些事情，热爱自己在做的这些事，尽管它们可能不值得。只是，为什么－－那么多苦，那么多累，那么多莫名的泪水？
6:04 PM
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Okies. Today is hari raya.. SUPPOSED TO BE STUDYING FOR CHEM TEST NOW. But why am i here? Totally bad of me to be such a big slacker. I WAN TO BE A MUGGER.
can you feel the beat?
最熟悉的陌生人
心碎离开
转身回到最初荒凉里等待
为了寂寞
是否找个人填心中空白
我们变成了世上
最熟悉的陌生人
今后各自曲折
各自悲哀
只怪我们爱得那么汹涌
爱得那么深
于是梦醒了搁浅了沉默了挥手了
却回不了神
如果当初在交会时能忍住了
激动的灵魂
也许今夜我不会让自己在思念里
沉沦
Yesterday watched campus superstar...rather sian. Okies.. got this particular girl sang this song.And i suddenly remember i used to like this song a lot. The judge was saying this song is a very mature song--talking about someone that u luved, but now become someone you're distant from. I want to laugh upon hearing this.^$#%^#%^*
梦醒了 搁浅了 沉默了 挥手了
却回不了神
How true this is. I told myself millions of times that i've already woke up from the past.But some part in my brain or heart still recalls the past. LOL. Nothing i want to say. Shall just smile and laugh at myself.
Okies. Shall go and study CHEMISTRY NOW. ATMOHSPHERIC STUDIES. hopefully the test is easy.Ahem.
2:31 PM
Friday, January 06, 2006
sch has reopened.. in fact..first week is already gone.
can you feel the beat?
I can already sense the stress coming. But it's gonna be okay...busy=fullfilling
2006 will be great. i said this many many times le. Yeah.
cca orientation--i was dressed as geisha. Great. scared a lot of sec ones away. LOL.
but i think it managed to catch their attention maybe?
今年看似很短其实很长。相信我是可以撑下去的。珍惜现在拥有的一切，因为真的不知道到时我会如何如何的想念COUNCIL AND CCA。现在不知道自己怎么了，自己写的文字并没有什么感觉了。
先这样吧。今天听到梁静如的 <<可惜不是你>>。呵呵，不知为什么竟有点眼泪要涌出来的感觉。郁闷啊
9:15 PM
Monday, January 02, 2006
okies... in abt 12 hrs. I'll be already in school. Just feel like writing something before school starts.
can you feel the beat?
Thos whole holiday actually was gone too fast. But i think it's not bad, though i did not get to accomplish my holiday plan(which is to study). Today don't know why thought about beijing again. Perhaps because i saw sher's blog entry or cause i randomly saw some of those beijing photos.
huiping jiin shiuan nicole hanzhi sher xiaojun ziyi felicia xiaohong shiyu cheryl denise ms teo and laoshi.. haha. I must say, all of u'al added a lot of colours to my 2005 holidays and of coz great memory that i'll always have it with me.
Council Camp 05 the hardfelt way It was another good memory together with batchmates and juniors, cant forget the times we run forth and back with the karyart and the time we desperately looking around for a lunch box and the time we woke up at 5 to look at sunrise.
CCA Though i did not get to go for hcjc drama camp... but get really this nice feeling from you guys that we are together, we'll work for a better cca, a great production 2006. Rachel Baona Yihong Leekoon Jasmine--really felt good with u ppx in the kap crapping and also discussing about cca=)
To you and you Thanx to both of u'al too. For being there for me during the past and now.Though it was of both happiness and sadness. In the future years, no matter what happens, you and you will be a big part of my memory.
Da gou gou didn't have much interaction with you this hols. But at your mention of eating tuan yuan fan together for cny... it made me feel that --yeah 2006 , cny is coming again. great that we are gonna have tuan yuan fan again. dagougou yuting connie ekping jaqueline some of these names so so far away but we are gonna meet soon for tuan yan fan!!! haha.
All in all. Think my 2005 dec hols seemed short and good. Haha.. i shouldnt say it's great. Coz the better is yet to come--2006 will rock my life.
Ok. I'm mentally prepared for school.
6:52 PM