Friday, March 31, 2006
无论多么困苦，请笑一笑
can you feel the beat?
正在做CHINESE PORTFOILO。终於好用功了吧？！哈哈。。可是其实比较赶的作业还是放在桌子上不想做。
从中文自修上看到这篇文章--<<不论多么困苦，请笑一笑>> 光是看到文章题目，不知怎么眼泪都涌了上来。
人的可贵之处不是永远不跌到，而是跌到后还能站起来。即使你有一千个理由哭泣，你也不必悲伤，很可能你会因一千零一个理由欢笑。因此，让我们对生活笑一笑，对自己笑一笑，也要告诉自己--无论多么困苦，请笑一笑！
写的挺不错的吧=)
刚才又跟妈吵架。
为钱
为我不学习
为我整天“不务正业”
为我整天爱听音乐
真的想离家出走了。今天晚上就是一个很好的时机=) 哈哈。不管了，管他们让不让我出门，我都出定了。烦。
离家出走。。。呵呵。我知道自己越来越不理智，不懂事。用我妈的话说就是越过越小，越来越不听话。听了真叫我啼笑皆非。要是我还小，我一定会听话。但我大了，我想做自己要做的事，不想什么都听了。
拜托，你放过我吧。真的。。我受够了。
4:28 PM
Monday, March 27, 2006
梦醒时分
can you feel the beat?
林忆莲
你说你爱了不该爱的人
你的心中满是伤痕
你说你犯了不该犯的错
心中满是悔恨
你说你尝尽了生活的苦
找不到可以相信的人
你说你感到万分沮丧
甚至开始怀疑人生
早知道伤心总是难免的
你又何苦一往情深
因为爱情总是难舍难分
何必在意那一点点温存
要知道伤心总是难免的
在每一个梦醒时分
有些事情你现在不必问
有些人你永远不必等
5:38 PM
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Yesterday was really a GREAT DAY. let me mention some of the funniest things i did.
can you feel the beat?
1) 1st time in my life. i copied like 9 or 10 physics worksheets. Blindly copy... dun even read the question... just like see a blank and copy the words in. LOL. hope i didnt copy wrongly.
2)played ice and melt at like 8 plus pm on HCI's field
3)ran 2 rounds around hci track at like 9pm??
4)went "shopping" at cold storage.. shared choco cakes cum A TUB OF vanilla ICE CREAM with my director.In the end left the strawberry yoghurts untouched, fighting over who to finish the cakes and ice cream.
5)lie on the hci track and get excited over the sky full of beautiful stars.=)
6)狂笑--欣然跟天佑的对手戏真是让人狂笑
呵呵。昨天真的很疯。不过疯得有意义吧。绕着TRACK跑两圈，同时也讲了一些自己想讲的东西，也稍微了解了一些东西，也算解决了一些东西。
Both sides exco: like what we said yesterday...we'll all hold on to each other for the next 4 months.we'll stand strong no matter what.jiayou jiayou. yeah. and the zong3 jian1-es...really dun worry abt us. really dont.
mr shang:下面的路可能会越来越难。很抱歉告诉你我其实不能完全放心，完全信任，但我相信自己会对你越来越放心，越来越信任。不知道为什么很多人说we're mad..we got phd..就算这样，我们就一直疯下去吧。我知道我们会一直站在一条线上，并肩作战。加油。
yihong, leekoon: dun worry kkz. yeah.esp leekoon. dun worry. since we're going to let u'al that take role..we trust that u'al will be able to do it. believe me..u'al will be on a journey to discover all your potentials.
hmmm.. okies. tat's all. i should go pia my chemistry sia report. i'm feeling very guilty to my group members already......
11:19 AM
Thursday, March 23, 2006
又熬过去了一天。上课时还是不停的大脑空白。真是不能在这样了。
can you feel the beat?
MEETING 的时候不知道怎么回事，莫明其妙开始搞自闭。后来接到亲爱妈妈的电话。
真是听了让我心痛。
“你做这些有什么用啊？弄得再好有人珍惜你吗？你给我清醒一点！这些破东西能换成学习成绩吗？你干脆退学算了。。你在这样别怪我要找你老师了。。。。”
我居然一句话也没讲。呵呵。安安静静的听完。莫明其妙跑到COLD STORAGE WALK AROUND，大脑一片空白。
感觉好累好累。后来回去MACDONALS，看到DJ YH YH LK 每个人看着我，觉得我有大问题时，本来是一片空白的我，突然很想哭。勉强的说着我没事，微笑假的连自己肌肉都是僵硬的。不想在别人面前流泪，我逃回家了。
真抱歉，我说我不会再这样，我会快乐，我不会再难过。可是为什么做这些那么难？
或许我应该看开一点，尽自己的职责就好了。毕竟，我有的时候想法真的太多，太倔，反而到最后难受的是自己。呵呵真好笑，17岁了还不会好好爱自己。突然想到宋夏的话，现实一点，自私一点，多爱自己一点。莫明其妙，又很想小学的那帮朋友了。
会过去的。我会笑的。
10:43 PM
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
我知道我不该来写东西。
can you feel the beat?
可是真的很想写。
生活把我压得喘不过气。
我不想在说什么。很明白自己还有太多太多的困难要克服。
my darling online progress report for term 1...
chem tcher: Chen Meng is good at managing her studies, cca and council work
phy teacher: Chen Meng can excel if she can manage her time better
math teacher: Chen Meng recently is quite consistent in her work.
I realize Mr Chan knows me quite well ah-huh...if only i can manage my time better. And yeah.. thanx to ms fu who assume that i'm managing time well. And darling mr khoo..i was quite consistent coz u gave hints for when are u going to give us math quizzes... if not.. i'll just score 0 for all your quizzes.. please continue to give hints for when's the quiz.
Ever since end of sec2 or smth.I quit myself from all the vulgar words. And yesterday... just tat split second, i said F*** up after all the things that happened yesterday.
people please forgive me if i start saying more and more vulgar words. i'm sorry if i do that.
*************************************************************************************
坚强
我会努力的
再也不会整天在上课时发呆，
不做功课，
跟妈妈顶嘴--她是为了我好。我明白。我真的明白
在大家面前一副愁眉不展，
在别人面前狂笑到流泪
有爱的翅膀不曾疲惫 有梦想就能展翅高飞
we will fly.coz we have a dream
4:24 PM
Sunday, March 19, 2006
明天要开学了
can you feel the beat?
一切又要回到每天6个小时睡眠的日子。
其实，我很畏惧开学。真是可笑吧？
TERM 2会更加艰难。我想我会努力的。
我已经快要忘记了--金黄草，widelia
还好现在莫明其妙的又记起这个生命力很强的东西。
嗯。好了。今天不想长篇大论。
加油吧！
9:00 PM
Saturday, March 18, 2006
让我先说点废话。今天终於把MATH WORKSHEET 拿出来做，发现自己很多题不会作。真是越来越佩服自己了，我居然可以毫不在意的把可怜的MATH丢到旁边，在这里写废话。我几乎可以看到下个学期我将是多么的悲惨。我这种缺乏自制力的人，注定就会如此的悲惨。再说一次，我真是越来越佩服自己居然可以把学习不当一回事。天啊，陈萌你快点清醒吧。
can you feel the beat?
********************************************************************************
了解与理解。了解一个人并不一定能理解一个人，理解一个人并不代表你了解一个人。
活在这世界上，我们不可能希望自己两者兼备。因为那是不可能的事情吧。
我不得不再说一次，我是越来越佩服自己。
越是长大，就越不要求别人对我的了解与理解。可能是我很麻木了吧。看到太多太多残忍的现实，虚伪的人，丝毫没有道理而自己又无能为力的事实。不得不承认自己现在变得很奇怪，很多事情我都不在乎了，很多事情都看淡了很多很多。严重到快成了外热内冷的人了。虽然外热内冷是天蝎座的个性，可是我真的无法忍心看自己变冷。
我希望自己被了解，被理解。哪怕是那么一点也好。
现在的我，无法去真正相信任何人，那些曾经可以真正谈心的人也离我太远了。这可能是为什么最近我越来越爱写东西了。太过压抑，太过郁闷。我昨天居然对着STRESSBALL讲了3句话，真不知道自己是越来越正常，还是越来越不正常。莫明其妙。
或许我不该奢求别人的了解或理解，因为毕竟我自己也不了解自己，不知道自己的脑袋哪一天会发疯。那一天很有可能是15/7/06的夜晚。
忘记自己在哪里看过一句话：只要努力，生活不会亏待我们的。
我努力了吗？不知道。说真的，WHAT DO I WANT OUT OF LIFE？
可能是命中注定，那些我珍惜的人，你们都慢慢离开了我的世界。不是你们自己要走的，是现实的安排。
********************************************************************************
真是越来越佩服自己(不好意死，这是N次了吧？)
为什么我可以视而不见，毫不在乎？够了，再说下去，连我自己都讨厌自己了。
5:58 PM
Friday, March 17, 2006
生活---你倒地要怎么样？
can you feel the beat?
呵呵，我发现我的题目真的很过分。
我每年生日，最后一个希望都是愿身边的人开心。可是它从来未实现过。
生活，你看看我们吧。倒地要怎么样呢？
有的时候，我难免要想，为什么要对我们如此残忍，我们都还是孩子而已。大孩子。
人生永远都有那么多矛盾。
我们勇敢面对，但累的时候，不得不躲到黑暗的角落里。
那些在黑暗角落里的朋友，愿你们早日出来拥抱阳光，真心的笑吧=)
抹干眼泪继续往前走吧=)
---用微笑召唤幸福海鸥
幸福倒地是什么？
难以说明。假如有天我要死了，我想我会告诉全世界什么才是幸福
9:58 PM
Rachel... this is for you<3<3
can you feel the beat?
我现在很后悔很后悔为什么没有找你细谈谈你的问题。抱歉，真的很抱歉。我不知道你的情况这么严重。
不论如何，我希望现在的这一番话或许还有点用。
其实我不知道怎么说。
只能告诉你，千万不要放弃！7月15号只有4个月之久。梦想已经越来越近，你怎么舍得放弃呢？你忘记了吗？合作演出，是我们共同的梦想。你怎么舍得现在就放弃戏剧呢？不可以不可以不可以。。。
不管是我们的人，还是华岗的人，我想，大家都需要你。真的，就算是COUNCIL，也是需要你的。不要以为大家可以没有你，知道吗？我们都关心你。不，我应该说其实我很关心你，只是不知怎么才能靠你近一点，才能帮你分担你的问题。我真的不知道怎么样才能拉近我们的距离，不是我不关心你，而是我不知道如何去做。真的很抱歉，没有早一点TAKE INITIATIVE。不管如何，我希望你明白，你不是可有可无的，知道吗？你很重要，真的很重要。
记得吗？BATCH 10， WE ARE SUPERMAN
我知道你对COUNCIL 的感情越来越少。但不要忘记，ONCE A COUNCILLOR， FOREVER A COUNCILLOR，DUN EVER FORGET OUR SUPERMAN SPIRIT okay? you can pull through as long as you believe.
No one on earth can totally understands some one...so in one way or another, all humans are lonely. yeah so look on the bright side of life=)we are all normal humans. Be lonely souls, yet happy souls.
五月天的歌词 ：被火烧过才会出现凤凰
加油 ， 不要放弃 。 好好照顾身体知道吗 ？
luv you <3
2:19 PM
Thursday, March 16, 2006
尘封已久
can you feel the beat?
这几天心情很不好，昨天无聊，把尘封已久的提琴拿了出来，拉着已经生疏的乐谱，呵呵，心里真是有种说不出的感觉。呵呵，看到琴弓碰到E弦，松香粉飘逸，闻到熟悉的松香味......哈哈。
心烦时把提琴那出来玩玩真的是很好的松懈方法
Concerto in G minor
原来尽管我拉得比以前烂很多很多，我听了还是很开心。
6:59 PM
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
刚才才今天发现是白色情人节。呵呵。
can you feel the beat?
既然如此，让我说些感性的话吧。
祝福你跟她。虽然把好朋友变成恋人是见很傻的事，但除了祝福，我只能祝福。
既然我说从好朋友变成恋人是种悲剧，所以对於你，呵呵。。或许我很清醒，永远再也不会踏入这种陷阱。我选择不动摇了。你就不要傻等了。真的不要。
其实我也不是很清醒，因为莫明其妙的怕自己会喜欢上一个跟我一样莫明其妙的家伙。
从以上看来我的感情生活好像十分丰富。呵呵。其实是一片空白。因为是我这样选择的，我选择了推开你，还有你。至於你，我很明白，我只是你生命中短暂的过客。
够了
仅此一次，下不为例
再也不说如此感性的话了，至少不是在这里。
11:43 PM
Monday, March 13, 2006
郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷
can you feel the beat?
郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷
郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷
郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷
郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷
郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷
郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷
郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷郁闷
不知道自己为什么会这样。付出不等于收获。
我倒地在干吗？ 整天在做一些没人会理解，没人会APPRECIATE 的东西。
或许，我有时候该听一下妈妈的。
何必整天牺牲小我完成大我。
够了
可是
我永远也学不会
永远也学不会如何放手
即使自己伤痕累累，
还是莫明其妙的支撑着
真够不为认知吧
我认了
我永远也学不会。永远不可能不在乎
不可能做到你说的TONE DOWN
7:50 PM
昨晚只谁了4个小时。现在困死了。
can you feel the beat?
黄城还是那个风格，道具和灯光等还是PRO。 呵呵。可是总觉得他们无法摆脱那个大框框，永远老是那个作法。
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你也在这里吗？
这个剧名真是够好听的。哈哈。可是目前剧本一片空白，真是让人头疼。
我妈最近要把我逼疯了。呵呵，昨天居然说：“你干脆别回来，睡外面！”呵呵，真是个妈妈说的话。我发誓我长大绝对当个好妈妈，一个理解孩子的好妈妈。不知到女人倒地是怎么会是，是不是到了更年期就那么无理取闹，一点都不讲道理。我真是疯了，说这么多，忘了自己也是女人。
不说了。只能说是天注定的，我老妈就是如此的为难我。
I'm tired.
tired
tired
i know i need to cheer up. but it's always easier to be said than done.
portfoilo. u suck like hell
12:05 PM
Saturday, March 11, 2006
REALLY FEEL LIKE JUST ESCAPING... SUX...i miss life skills camp..coz it's far to relaxing..put my mind off all my hectic schedules
can you feel the beat?
things to do:
1) portfoilo..due by mon
2) math ws
3) council june camp stuff..due by this weekend
4) production scripts etc etc...
5) need to catch up on my studies..really need to.
6) chinese xue xi dang an
7) chem sia research
8) chem sia report
Everything have to be done by end of mar hols.
my left index finger is getting frm bad to worse.. WAD THE HELL. I MUST SAY TAT DOCTOR SUXXXXX... I'LL NEVER GO TO HIM AGAIN. SUCKER. sorry i'm too agitated. I'm just feeling very very bad coz got a lot of stuff to finish and i'm here without my specs, wearing contact lenses for 18 hrs a day..and with my patheic finger..couldn't type as fast i could.
i'm slacking right now..coz i really dunno wad to do for my darling portfoilo...stupid portfoilo.stupid stupid.
1:08 PM
Friday, March 10, 2006
LIFE SKILLS CAMP GRACES
can you feel the beat?
haha.. it rocked=)
http://community.webshots.com/user/widelia_mengz
go here to see photos!!.. LSC graces album=) haha...
let me say some random stuffs abt the camp
1) it was damn relaxing.. keep on eating and eating.. haha
2)formal dinner night was great...busy taking photo around with a lot of people=)
3) 401 won a lot of unexpected prizes... haha
4) got my specs hit by a volleyball and itwai1 diao4.. and the worst thing: i left it in the chalet and forget to bring it BACK!!! so HAVE TO MAKE NEW SPECS..CURRENTLY HAVE TO WEAR CONTACTS ALL DAY LONG. THIS SUX
5) GOT A WEIRD SWELLING ON MY INDEX FINGER... weird... dunno if it's insect bite..
6) both my fingers and toe nails got nail polish now.. HAHA KIND OF ONCE IN A LONG TIME.. coz sch rules dun allow of coz.
haha.. okies. BASICALLY.. lsc rox. yeah. 401...i think i got to noe some people much better... haha..yeah
okies. NEED TO GET BACK TO REALITY.
do my portfoilo..PIA PIA PIA.
sunday MEETING FOR SCRIPT...MUST GET SMTH GOOD OUT.
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suddenly feel tat time passes really fast. yeah. PROM NIGHT IS OVER.
6:29 PM
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
I LUV MY CCA JACKET=) HAHA I LUV IT.. IT'S SO NICE!!
can you feel the beat?
haha.. frankly. I WILL LUV OUR COMBINE PRODUCTION T-SHIRT MORE. yeah.. so now.. wad i am looking forward to..1) our production name to be confirmed so tat i can put on my msn nick 2) our production logo! if there's one 3)a combine shirt!!! so tat i can act pro-ed and wear!! haha..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAONA! i bet u are damn touched after all these stuffs.. haha..BUT TEARS.. SAVE THEM FOR 15.07. yesh. 15.07 seem to have become such a special number to all of us. HEHE.
TMR IS SEC 4 LIFE SKILLS CAMP--GRACES. last camp in nanyang girls' high.. last camp together with 401. WE'LL MAKE IT HAPPY AND ENJOYABLE.
10:11 PM
Monday, March 06, 2006
I desperately need to write something very positive on my blog.
can you feel the beat?
yesh! haha.
last night was discussing about production names with mr shang. It was exciting haha.. although seriously none of the names really is that super duper million great.But actually i love all the names we talked about last night..(of coz i love mine the most..shall ego a bit) Haha..it's very exicitng.. haha i cant wait to put our production name on my MSN NICK!!... yeahh.
I'm living in an atmosphere of craziness almost everyday...with all the things that make my heart go up and down, down and up, up and down like a sine graph. HAHA. But i'm HAPPY anyway. Really happy. The moment i think of cca... the moment i think of all those people that say they are loving cca more and more...haha.. the happiness is really beyond my description. ALTHOUGH a lot of things are still not really on track...but i believe we can all do it.
I know this is very very cheezy but i still wan to say all these stuffs below.
Rach: jiayou okies. From last year july.. when we had the crazy thought of working with RI... to the time we had our first exco meeting with HCI, to the time when both of us struggled and unhappy about who should get the combine director seat...All these..they are memorable. WE'll hang on there..with our best to balance studies council and cca.. although its like impossible.. but we'll still put in our best ok. yeah
Baona:Jiayou! seriously it's nice to see you working well as a vp.. it's not easy..but jiayou..we'll all be here for you. By the time you leave ny... in fact when all of us leave ny.. we'll remember nychinesedrama hard and for life.
yihong and leekoon: darlings=) haha my darling actors...the future road maybe tuff..directors and sm-es may scream at u'al and ect etc..but i will remember to get pi pa kao for u'al darlings=)
den and zhoukang: haha... everytime i see u 2 people blog.. i feel very touch... haha.. all those words about loving cca and stuff.. haha yeah. lets look forward to 15.07.06. i can already 100 percent confirm i cant sleep on 14.07.06
Jasmine: i noe u wont be reading this. Jiayou=) last yr in cca le.. although u didnt get u wan initially.. but i'm sure u'll still enjoy the process of everything.. just like me too! haha.
Dianjun: haha yo mr shang. bet u wont be reading this anyway. we'll have a happy time working okay=) AHEM.. i shall be ego. IT'S A ONCE IN LIFE TIME CHANCE TO WORK WITH ME okay? u betta enjoy it man.Jiayou and keep happy...remember we say GREAT PEOPLE THINK ALIKE? haha. yeah WE ARE GREAT PEOPLE AND THE PRODUCTION WILL ROCK.
Yinghan, zheng fu, fang en: darling sm-es=) hope we'll have a nice nice time working together. aiya.. again.. u'al wont read this for sure. NVM. i'll WRITE U'AL SWEET NOTES ONE FINE DAY.
geiwei, junjie, jianyi, jianzhong, huangpei, jiankai etc etc etc: lets all jiayou=) past experiences told me tat any event hci-ny oragnize.. it'll always be enjoyable. Yesh.. our drama production..it'll be enjoyable for 110 percent. LETS ALL GET HYPED.
8:41 PM
Saturday, March 04, 2006
I'M SUCH A BIG SUCKER. yesh i am.
can you feel the beat?
it was my fault.
mine.
If you'al hate me now...other than sorry..i don't know what to say.
last fri...i was told tat i can take a look at some actors.i scanned through my notebook..saw some names tat i did put a marking beside it. So.. i decided to ask for them for me to see.Yes. Tianyou needs to be someone not only acting skills can make it.. but oso physically suitable for it.I was stressed...coz apparently it was really hard to get a suitable actor. Forget it. I don't want to narrate abt what happened anymore.
I could have handled it better instead of saying "i remembered the wrong person"
I gave someone hope and smashed it right in front of him. I don't know what to say. Just feel very very very bad about it. I don't know how much longer i need to take to learn to be sensitive to all people around me...not just those closer to me... but people in general.
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To you.. i've to say again.. don't be too serious about me ever. I'm not worth it.Don't commit that much. Perhaps i'm just someone tat gave you hope now...and might smash it right in front of you in the future.
6:42 PM
Friday, March 03, 2006
人生如戏 戏如人生
can you feel the beat?
最近不知怎么了，很喜欢感情用事。越来越觉得戏剧里体现了生活中很多的东西，而且自己越来越爱这个莫名的东西了。我有一种很强烈的预感，后面的路会越来越难，但是我会在痛苦中得到我要的快乐。某人说我SADDISTIC。好像真的是吧。
我会快乐的。在忙也会快乐的。事在人为，何况我也该学会控制自己的情感。
抱歉我再也不会去想你了。抱歉。是现实的生活不得不让我把你藏到记忆的某个充满灰尘的角落。我想，自己笑过了，哭过了。该是永远释怀了。
8:35 PM
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
我累
can you feel the beat?
累
累
真的很累
累
生活----你真的是透明色的吗？
抱歉。真的抱歉。你可不可以告诉我，为什么以为自己再也不在乎，可是好像还是有些在乎？说真的，我很讨厌自己这些莫明其妙的想法。亲爱的妈妈，摆脱你不要有事没事在我面前提起他的名字了，更不要在问我--你们还是不是朋友？
i'm sorry for all these craps i wrote. shall not be so moody and pessi.. try not to. yeah
9:47 PM