Saturday, October 28, 2006

Yeahx…Monday is o level higher chinese. I’m sooo damn in the mood and conditions for it man! (full of sarcasm)

既然要考中文了，那就要写点东西，哪怕是毫无头绪，也要CRAP 点东西出来。

嗯。下个礼拜我一定要开始正式的减肥计划了！因为再不减的话我要看不下去了。
想当年走在乌节路上还会有人问我要不要当模特，现在恐怕我倒贴也没人要了。
嗯，说得还真是很废啊。总而言之，就是真的要减肥了。我说了半年了，可是一直
都没有行动。其实具体要怎么减还在待定之中。呵呵。

星期一算是最后一次在南中的考试吧。嗯，所以就打算要尽力而为了。
(怎么说得好像以前我考试都没有尽力的样子)

没话写了。。。。。没话写了。。。。。
看来SMOKE 的功力还是不好。需要在练练。
等练好了再来继续SMOKE 吧。

就这样吧。
考O LEVEL 的人们加油噢=)

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Let me make this clear.

I hate it when people make decisions without discussing it with me beforehand. This principle applies in all aspects, especially the decisions involve my personal freedom or it involves things that I am in. It applies between family members, working partners etc etc.

And it’s even worse when they tell you it’s for you own good.

今天的多次强忍眼泪让我很不舒服。

SCHOOL CHEER，我要哭
SCHOOL SONG，我要哭
看着DC 的空台，我要哭
看着CCA FAREWELL MONTAGE，我要哭
CCA FAREWELL 讲话，我要哭

可是所有这一切，都让我给忍回去了。呵呵。就连泪水已在眼眶，也不知道怎么让我给忍回去了。

因为4年来的所有经历，因为4年来的所有快乐与伤悲，我会想念南中的。

Oh yeah... and..subject combi.. i seriously don't know what i want and if i have the courage to start a totally, absolutely new social circle next year.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

刚才不小心把mingyang songyi 等人送的那个杯子打碎了。
心里好难受好难受。
硬是愣在那里看着一地的碎片看了很久。
直到母亲take扫把收拾地上的碎片，我才回过神来。

“碎了也好。注定的。结束太久了。” 妈妈开口居然讲出了我在想的东西。

“我再给你买一个一样的吧”

“应该不容易找吧。算了。是啊，注定的。”

记得考试期间，我用它喝咖啡，后来用它喝绿茶。
现在，它碎了。

听到一个很好听的歌：

路
梁静茹

回头看来时的路
总有些复杂感触
我们走得那么辛苦
好不容易才到这地步
不被了解的痛楚
到不了爱的净土
是你让我越过冲突
陪我走过风雨险阻这一段路
如果开始就能看见幸福
不在别人眼光耳语中迷路
或许我不能把爱看清楚
想把你的手牢牢握住
如果这是通往爱的旅途
也许过程注定要荆棘密布
但我不后悔选择这条路
你的爱让我深深体会
活着的感触
有时我不愿回头看
一路太多眼泪混乱
幸好有你我才变得勇敢
ah……
我从不后悔选择这条路
因为你的爱让我看见
活着的幸福

************************************************************************

人活在世上可能就是这样。不能奢求任何人的了解，只能期盼别人的理解。
可是当理解都不存在时，怎么办？

突然之间，我什么都看不清楚了。
i really don't wish that history will repeat itself.

Friday, October 20, 2006

I’m writing this post in English. Yeah, don’t know why… but yeah… just feel like so. And yeah, it’s gonna be a super long post.

So…we are considered graduated, though it’s still 10 more days to really leaving the school. I thought that the grad ceremony won’t make me feel anything, but it was not so.
I wasn’t really in the emo mood… until I received the graduation magazine… which really gave me the message: we are graduating.

While outside the staff room, vivien was saying she’ll feel sad, and out of a sudden all those times for council, for cca etc came across my mind. And even things like running around the school to look for teachers to sign proposals, to talk about matters so on and so forth…they appeared in my mind somehow.

Then it came to the singing school song part. Facing the admin on the stage, I saw all the deans, principals, head of departments etc all singing the sch song… and yeah.. people around me singing as well. For a moment tears were welling up in my eyes. Haha, sounds funny but it’s not funny at all. That was nanyang’s school spirit I guess. Many a times when we discussed about school spirit in various dialogue sessions, there’s always people saying that we’ve got little school spirit. But now it’s not the case. Or I should say that it has always not been the case. We all have that feeling deep within us. Just that some of us may show it very frequently, some of us only tend to show it at crucial times. Whatever it is… it touched me. Yeah, and talking about this… it reminds me… Hearing the lower sec ppx cheering during post eoy activities reminded me all the fun about cheering your hearts out. Wonder if we could have any chance to cheer as nanyang anymore.

Mum was telling me that she even remembered the time in sec 1 when our batch went up the stage one by one to receive our orientation certs, signifying that we are part of the school. And now, we went up one by one again… to get the cert that ends our sec sch life. 4 years seemed to have passed in a few seconds. Yeah. Right. Time flies. That’s what all people will say.

I guess I would have to say some stuffs in response to the emo-ing tonight.

Council
You are something that made up a really big and major part of my life in nanyang. Yeah, without council, perhaps many things in my life would be different. You got out the hidden passion within me. I remembered that when seniors asked me last year, I said that I luv batch 10. I still love you ppx as what I did last year. Though we might not be very close with all the batchmates… but I know that we are all there for each of us in times of difficulty. It’s not just some superficial words. I had always believed that it is a fact. ‘coz we are batch 10 superman. Thank you batchmates for all the wonderful memories.
And batch 07 and swc juniors, I’ll miss u’al.
I remembered all the invests, all the vetting and writing of proposals, all the hard work for various events, all the tekan and not tekan council camps, all the cheerings, all the huggings and jiayoux.
Thanx, for being part of my life.
CCA
我其实不知道该说些什么好。

突然想到一句在某个理解问答上看到的话：
一切都是暂时的，一切都会消逝；让失去的变为可爱。

或许，你让我明白了原来很多东西都是可遇不可求的。
如今，我想起来的似乎大多是那些为戏剧拼命的日子。其实回想起来，我还是不会后悔。尽管我反思后发现今年除了XYXY我几乎没干什么大事，但是它还是我人生中值得回忆，值得反思，值得骄傲的东西吧。

感谢所有经历的困难，因为你们让我成长了，
感谢所有经历的伤害，因为你们让我更加坚强；
感谢所有爱护过我的人，因为你们给过我快乐和幸福；
感谢所有跟我说过加油的人，因为你们真的让我感到了动力。

在今后的日子里，我会快乐，我会珍惜，我会让失去的变为可爱的。
人生如戏，我想20年后我会依然记得我爱过戏剧，或者我依然爱着戏剧；我会记得我爱过你们，我珍惜过你们。


401
Just want thank all my classmates who really made my life enjoyable in school. And specially thanks to these people:

Veron, ziyi, huangrong, yushan, vivien, xiaojun, chelsea

Not exactly say very very close with everyone but at least you have made my life rather comfortable. Like what we did today in class… crapping and laughing over veron’s mousie and calling xiaojun “goon goon” and calling me bingung meng… hahahahah…. And of coz getting crazy over deathnote and goong=) It’s all these fun that makes my life much happier I guess. So thanks… really thanks. Thanks for all the attempts to make me cheer up when I’m not up… thanks for all the unusual laughters during lessons even.

Hopefully I will still get into the same class with some classmates next year=) but of coz the rest… we’ll be in touch. We’ll some how be each others’ memory.


Guess I have to stop here. It’s really long winded. Yeah. Lets treasure our next 10 days.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

今天早上起来又一次被自己的梦给吓到了。

你说得对，梦境都是与现实相反的。所以我怕的事情都不会发生。
你说得更对的是，很多事情不是想忘就可以忘掉。
你说得最对的是，快乐是自己创造的，不是靠别人给的。

所以，你放心，我会快乐的。

Sunday, October 15, 2006

今天是10月15号。

心韵新韵：3周月

幸福外加风雨：5周月

距离成人：1个月

呵呵。不知何时开始，15号成了如此意义重大的日子。
但愿，它永远意义重大吧。


明天拿物理卷子。上帝保佑我吧，虽然我从来不信你。

Friday, October 13, 2006

今天心情的确有些郁闷。

化学考得连b3 都不到的成绩的确让我很不舒服。
然后去hci open house，去了黄城there。
看着他们的video， 我不禁跟jas说: 怎么感觉很……

Yeah. For that slight moment, I felt a weird feeling in my heart.
Pain?
Touch?
Or what?

离开LT3的时候我发现，其实还真是很黑色幽默的，和黄城同样付出，同样经历过这种经历的人们居然可以面无表情的分散在LT 不同的角落，听着这帮黄城人讲述和我们同样刻骨铭心的故事。

或许，我错了。
黄城不一样。
我们的疯狂，那或许只是没有下文的曾经。
而黄城人的疯狂，那或许是一种情感的寄宿。

碰到不少学姐问我明年要不要去黄城。
“没有意外情况的话，我应该会”
“什么意外情况的，哎呀就来吧，会一生难忘的 ”

呵呵。 那瞬间我突然冒出一个很好笑 的想法：
人一生到底有什么是难忘的？

其实任何伤痛，任何依恋，任何情感，只要愿意，总是会随着岁月淡化掉。
是吗？我不知道。

回家后还是忍不住看了xyxy 的 VCD。答应不看，可是我还是看了。而且还只看了晚上场的谢幕。本以为情绪会很平静，没想到还是高估了自己。

Jas 今天说再也不会为那个曾经掉眼泪， 那我呢？什么时候才可以？

好了，我说太多了吧。
今天DC 来什么修理人员其实是件好事。

******************************************

突然发现，我不可以再拿自己的未来开玩笑了。
要18岁了，不好好打算打算，想必日后我会不甘心于平凡的生活。

Monday, October 09, 2006

终于考完了。
其实考完的那刻也没有什么特别的感觉。

还在考试的人们要加油，坚持就是胜利！！

本来对考后又很多规划，比如要读些什么书，要补充什么方面的知识，要去找地方打工，要减肥，要找回那个胸有大志的自己， 等等。
可是现在好像什么都不想做。先玩几天再说吧。

还有20天就毕业了。有些不可思议。

很多事情，这几天还是不要想，不要回忆了吧。否则又要感情泛滥了。
过几天我一定会好好思考思考我的中学生涯。思考那些曾经有过的日子，思考
Cca, 思考council, 思考我身边的朋友，思考我的生活方式。
每到年末我都会开始反思，只是今年可能需要反思的事情更多一些吧。

要好好休息几天了。

Saturday, October 07, 2006

快要考完了。
现在的我已经开始不务正业了。呵呵。
虽然物理可能会不及格，但似乎我好像没什么担心的感觉。
这足以说明我对物理有多重视。

开始在想考完后要干什么。
头等大事就是找回生活的重心吧。
就如同某篇毫无文采，毫无内容，或许通过丝毫无力的文字老师却能看出点情感的作文里写的：

让过去与现在共存， 需要让伤口与快乐共存。

不说了。该去动一下数学了。
妈妈明天就回来了呢。